Entry 4: Society undervalues platonic relationships
Recently I was finally able to fully cut contact with someone who I was in a pretty shitty relationship with, who was in love with some fictional version of me that only existed inside their own head.
This made me wonder why I had even agreed to a relationship to begin with.
Dating, dating apps, going out with the goal to find someone I would want to call my partner is not something I've ever done, romantic relationships have never been a priority in my life. Yes I've always thought it would be quite nice in to one day be in a relationship like the one in the comic My Giant Nerd Boyfriend that is about the authors actual real life relationship, or like the one that Mike from the Youtube channel Atomic Shrimp has with his wife, wholesome, calm, caring, genuine. The aforementioned shitty relationship has made me see that there's no need to search or hope for it because I already have all that.
I don't have a romantic relationship with all those qualities, but I don't need one. Romantic attraction is just some vague feeling. Being sex-averse the only thing separating romantic and platonic relationships for me is that vague feeling.
Everything I want would want from a romantic relationship I already get with the relationship I have with my best friend.
We've known each other since we were ten and eleven years old, our relationship is stronger than a Nokia 3310. Why would I bother meeting people to test if we would fit together in a relationship, most of which won't, when I have what I want right here already. I've been so stupidly blind, though when she's done reading this post she'll tell me I shouldn't say that about myself.
Aside from gaining more appreciation for my best friend, I've also been made to wonder why society sees romantic relationships as so much more important than platonic relationships.
Part of it is probably that the world hasn't fully outgrown the believe that you simply must get married and have children. More and more people willingly choose not to gets kids, nowadays that isn't seen as something exceptional. Meanwhile choosing to stay single and to not actively seek a romantic relationship is seen as statement, as something peculiar worth pointing out.
Even the term single doubles down on the believe that romantic relationships are more important than platonic ones. Almost saying that if you're not in one that must mean that you are lonely and have no one who deeply cares about you. Characters in media constantly get shipped with one another wishing they'd end up in a romantic relationship together but almost never do I see people wishing two characters end up as friends. As if it's impossible for people to want to exist together and care for each other without some vague feeling or sex to tie them together.
There was this old Greek poet called Sappho who wrote love poems about women and some historians misinterpreted them as being about friendship. Nowadays there's this joke that when two women are very obviously in a romantic relationship they're 'just friends'. Me and my friend make similar jokes about ourselves but in the opposite direction. We do things that would typically be reserved for romantic partners, where outsiders might think we're Greek besties. And instead of making it clear abundantly we're 'just friend' we double bluff. "We're deeefinitely not lesbian, nooo, why would you eeever think that?" It's the truth, we're not lovers, but it's said in a way that makes it sound as an obvious bluff. Turning a society that doesn't understand that a platonic relationship can be just as valuable and meaningful as a romantic relationship into a funny joke.
Every 'relationship' in this post was first mistyped as 'realtionship', except one which was mistyped as 'relaltionship'. (。_。) I think I should wait a bit before trying to type that word again.